Why Gen Z is turning to TikTok for their daily horoscopes
Gen Z: Do you remember what time I was born?
Gen X: Sometime between Strictly Come Dancing and Casualty. I remember your dad going on about Natasha Kaplinsky’s legs.
Think harder! I need it to the minute, and preferably the temperature and wind direction, too.
I’m sorry, I was too busy screaming for more drugs to catch that evening’s Shipping Forecast.
Gen Z believer Apple Martin
How do you expect me to determine my astrological birth chart, then?
Not this again. I’ve told you, you’re the one with the goat. Capricorn, I think. I remember because your grandma said it was fitting when she first saw you.
Very funny. But astrological compatibility is important. You like The White Lotus, don’t you?
I draw the line at taking advice from a show featuring a pair of bonking brothers.
Trust you to be ogling Patrick Schwarzenegger instead of clocking the metaphysical undertones. Anyway, Aimee Lou Wood told Elle magazine this season’s success was down to her and her co-stars’ astrological alignment.
And there was me thinking it was the sex, murder and Charlotte Le Bon in a bikini.
‘I am a Scorpio Moon and Leslie Bibb and Walton Goggins are Scorpio Suns,’ she said. It gave the show ‘strong Scorpio energy – it’s the underworld, it’s the buried truth, it’s like still waters run deep.’
What a load of utter LA gobbledygook! Here’s a prediction for you: start talking about ‘Scorpio energy’ here in the UK and people will tell you you’re chatting out of Uran…
Are you a 12-year-old schoolboy? Besides, 80 per cent of Gen Z say they believe in astrology and there are 4.5 million posts tagged #Astrology on TikTok.
TikTok astrologers? I hope Psychic Sally has invested in an iPhone and a ring light.
I don’t get out of bed before I’ve checked Maren Altman’s daily horoscopes. She’s got 1.4 million followers, mainly because she predicted Donald Trump would refuse to leave office in 2021.
Gen Z believer Maren Altman
That’s a useful skill, predicting a mad dictator will do exactly what he’s said he’ll do a thousand times on Twitter.
It’s X now. And in the words of Gen Z fave Ariana Grande, checking your daily horoscope is ‘a way to look forward with hope and awareness of what’s to come’.
Astonishing. Gen Z has discovered a pseudoscience dating back to the Babylonians in 2000BC and managed to translate it into 2025 therapy speak.
You’re in a grouchy mood. Let me check your Co-Star dailyscope on the iPhone app. As I thought: ‘Transiting Pluto semisextile and natal Uranus in Capricorn’. No wonder you’re so volatile.
Natal Uranus? Pluto semisextile? It’s all very risqué-sounding for a generation always complaining they’re not getting any.
Star of the stars Psychic Sally
Laugh all you want, but everyone needs an astrology app. Co-Star uses AI and Nasa data to provide personalised readings, and its creators told The Times it now has 30 million users and turns over £2 million in subscription payments every year.
Computers writing horoscopes? How depressing. I quite agree with the guy in the comments section: ‘I miss the days when astrology columns were entirely made up by sports journalists for a bit of extra cash.’
Nobody wants dusty newspaper horoscopes any more. Look at Apple Martin – Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter – who told Interview magazine she does tarot card readings with her friends over Facetime.
Here’s my astrological prediction: if your dad’s a guitar-strumming eco-warrior and your mum sells candles that smell like her vagina, you’re going to end up entirely doolally.
Look, it’s in your nature to be doubtful. You’re such a typical Aries: stubborn, argumentative, always sure you’re right…
And you’re a typical Capricorn, acting like an old goat at 20. Besides, this whole argument is reminding me of the last time my friend and I had an astrology-related fall out.
Let me guess, she palmed you off when you called her beliefs ‘gobbledygook’.
No, her horoscope obsession Taurus apart.
